It is hard to concentrate on the multiple subroutines I have running in my ‘work-student-mommy’ program when I have an elephant sized monkey jumping up and down on my back everyday lately.  This monkey is the little evil being called ‘no respect’, well at work anyway.  My management likes to compliment me day and night.  They also like to have me involved in everything.  And when I say everything, I’m not kidding… R&D for both engineering and nanobio, lab management and safety.  These are seriously like four different positions.  The problem is that they never have the funding to back up the work or their praises.  Going from senior tech to assoc engineer, well I thought that would be a windfall for someone like me who makes a small salary and can manage decently with it.  Windfall it was not.  I had to complain and argue just to get compensated for what I was losing through overtime pay.  It was pretty ridiculous.  But then I was supposed to be eligible for a higher percentage of raises and bonuses in the future, which have not panned out this spring either.  To add to the annoyance, I accidentally found out that two coworkers with less time in the company and less responsibility are even with me or ahead of me in salary.  It’s really hard to not look at the people you work with everyday and wonder why you get asked to do so much more without getting any incentive except a pat on the back.  And in the end, I really like where I work but I have no problem with looking for a new opportunity with another company.  But being in the middle of school definitely complicates the issue.  I’m already guilting myself for not spending the time I should researching grants and scholarships.  I’m not sure where I would fit in job hunting and interviews.  Plus, at least with this job I know the flexibility is there to be in school concurrently.  But this monkey on my back definitely affects my attitude at work and my focus too.  Maybe I just need to compensate for its weight in my subroutine and keep moving forward.

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